How to Uncover Microjoys + Find Hope When Life is Not Okay with Author Cyndie Spiegel
Show Snapshot:
How do we hold grief in one hand and joy in the other? After the most difficult year of author Cyndie Spiegel’s life—a year of devastating losses and major health challenges—she found herself zooming in on the small things to stay afloat—life’s microjoys.
Getting to midlife teaches us that loss and hardship are not optional—in Cyndie’s latest book, “Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life is Not Okay,” she helps us hone the practice of uncovering joy and finding hope at any age and situation.
Today’s conversation is a warm hug, chockful of actionable guidance on the power of joy and thoughtful prompts for anyone looking to uncover microjoys in their own lives (no matter their circumstances). Yes, please!
Show Links:
Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life is Not Okay
Quotable:
Joy and grief are steady dance partners. And if we want to dance, we must also be willing to grieve because we live life on a spectrum that includes a range of emotions. Experiencing hard things is not optional. We must choose hope and joy when we are able to, over and over again.
Transcript:
Katie Fogarty 0:03
Welcome to A Certain Age, a show for women who are unafraid to age out loud. Beauties, for many of us, joy and grief are steady dance partners. And if we want to dance, we must also be willing to grieve because we live life on a spectrum that includes a range of emotions. Experiencing hard things is not optional. We must choose hope and joy when we are able to, over and over again. My guest today is the woman who wrote those beautiful words in her beautiful and big hearted new book, "Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life Is Not Okay." Cyndie Spiegel is a serial author, motivational speaker, career reinventor, and founder of the social community Dear Grown Ass Women. She joins me today to dive into microjoys, how we can hone our ability to experience these glimmers of hope, and how microjpys can lift us up during grief and loss, and delight us as we move through our day to day. Welcome, Cyndie.
Cyndie Spiegel 1:02
Thank you so much for having me. What a beautiful intro.
Katie Fogarty 1:05
Well, most of those beautiful words were yours. I so enjoyed this book, it is something that I'm going to return to again and again. It is sitting on the side of my bed, and I want to be able to tap into it on those days when I need something to lift me up because we can all use more joy in our lives. You first began taking note of these microjoys during what was an incredibly difficult year, you experienced back-to-back devastating losses, a major health challenge. I would love to start with some stage-setting for our listeners. What was going on in your life that made you choose to actively, intentionally focus on microjoys as a source of solace and support?
Cyndie Spiegel 1:47
Well, it was 2020 that this all started to come to be for me and I just need to back up for a second to say that in 2018, I wrote a book called "The Year of Positive Thinking." And that is really where this shift came, and that I'll share with you next, which is in 2020 as we were all in the midst of a global pandemic and at this point still quarantining fully. In March, no, actually, it was May of that year, my 32 year old nephew was killed. And immediately following the death of my nephew, this was the same week that George Floyd was killed, so Black Lives Matter really took the global stage in a big way.
There was so much trauma sort of collectively happening, and the death of my nephew on top of that was, it really just sent me into a spiral, I didn't know how to be the woman who had up until that point been eternally optimistic. You know, the woman who wrote a book called "The Year of Positive Thinking," that sold hundreds of thousands of copies, I didn't know how to be her in that moment. Four months after that, my beloved mama passed away unexpectedly. Shortly after my mother passed away, my 49 year old brother, he had a stroke, and then he went into cardiac arrest, and spent the next two and a half months in the ICU. So if anyone's not familiar with the ICU, you're really not meant to be there longer than a week or two. So 10 weeks is extraordinary. He did, thankfully come home, and he is still healing to this day, several years later. Within a month of him coming home, I was then diagnosed with breast cancer.
So it just felt as though in this particular period of time, which by the way, was only 10 months, it felt like life would not stop coming. And I've never experienced compound grief in this way in my lifetime. And I remember at that point, it really started after my nephew passed away, kind of being very conscious and aware that I could not be that optimist. I started to notice things that were directly in front of me at any particular moment.
So one of the earliest memories I have of what I eventually went on to call microjoys was the week following his death, when we were going through a photo album from his childhood. And in this photo album, were all of these ridiculous pictures of him with his big brown eyes and missing teeth and doing all these silly things that children do. And my family and I were sitting there going through this, and we were laughing through tears. And to me that is the ultimate microjoy, right? It's the ability to hold grief in one hand and joy in the other at any particular moment. And though I didn't have a name for what was happening in that moment, I slowly began to sort of collect these microjoys in different ways.
And the reason I call them microjoys is not because they're small but simply because they are easily attainable and they are in front of us at any particular moment. So, you know, the first sign of it was looking at pictures and sort of laughing through the tears. And then, you know, I might be walking outside and see that a flower is starting to bloom. So there were all of these micro-moments that were directly in front of me that when I was present enough to notice them, they temporarily removed me from my current circumstances, right? It didn't change the fact that my nephew was killed, that my mom had passed away, that I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it doesn't change any of that. These microjoys simply allow us to be in the present moment, and find joy, alongside everything else that is happening.
Katie Fogarty 5:41
It's such a beautiful practice and I, you know, I'm curious, you were in this, you know, cascading tsunami of grief and loss and challenges during this 10 month period that you just outlined for us. And I'm so sorry for that, that time that you were suffering, and that these microjoys, were something that kind of buoyed you up at different points. When did you say to yourself, this is something that is beyond my particular story? You know, that this notion of microjoys deserves a bigger stage, and the practice of uncovering joy needs to be part of a wider conversation and potentially be turned into a book. When did that happen for you?
Cyndie Spiegel 6:24
I started talking about it on social media, and using the term microjoys, and very quickly, folks would start DMing me and sharing their own microjoys. Now, that was never my intent. I didn't mean this to be an actual word for an actual thing. It was simply what I was calling the experience that I was having. And it just sort of spiraled and folks continued to DM me, like private message me, their own micro joys. I still, I mean, again, I was still in the midst of all of this, I feel like I'm only now starting to move through or move forward, I should say.
And what ended up happening miraculously, as it does, is that a publisher reached out to me. Someone, someone who follows me on social media on Instagram, said, I'd love to get on a call with you. And I said, sure. And she said, would you ever be interested in writing a book about this? And I was at this place, again, it just felt like life kept happening, that I just sort of said yes, yes to anything. To most things that felt attainable, I was saying yes to and that was one of them. And so I put together, again, I you know, at this point, truly, I didn't know that this was a book. I just thought, yeah, I'll put together a proposal and see what we can come up with. And the second I sat down to write about it, I realized that this was a much bigger mindset shift than I had initially anticipated when I was writing about my own lived experiences. And what was fascinating is that is actually the publisher I ended up going with. My agent pitched it around and the book actually ended up going to auction. And so I think there is this real sort of need at the moment to allow ourselves to feel the multitude of our lived experiences and really find joy within that as opposed to only joy, which is not sustainable.
Katie Fogarty 8:19
Yeah, absolutely. And you say at the moment, and I could see why there was this resonated, we were all coming out of a global pandemic, there were all of the, you know, the racial injustices that sort of exploded in our consciousness again, and again, and again. And you know, anyone who's looking at the newspaper today, when you look at the devastation in, you know, Turkey and Syria, it just feels like there's a constant cascade of, of, you know, challenge and sorrow and loss. And I love the fact that you that you sort of identified that, that we can only experience joy, because we live in this sort of binary world, like we can have joy in one hand and in sorrow in another. I love this notion too that joy and grief are intimate dance partners. It allows us to feel, at least for me, sort of less sorrowful when I'm experiencing it. I would love for you to maybe share with a listener who might be going through something that you went through - a health challenge, a loss - you know, what, what is a prompt that you found in your own life that helped you see these microjoys when you were at your lowest ebb?
Cyndie Spiegel 9:28
Yeah, I would say, and again this isn't a recipe so much for joy, because really, my hope with the book is that the readers and the listeners will use this as a guide to find what brings them joy, not necessarily what brings me joy, but something that is at the foundation of microjoys is presence. And what I mean by that is grounding in the present moment. So using your five senses, right? What are you tasting, what are you smelling? What are you feeling? What are you seeing, what are you hearing? And you can do this practice from anywhere. In a local cafe, you can do it in your house. Put your phone down, set the timer for five minutes, and simply allow yourself to be present. Notice, and say this out loud if you're able to, what you're seeing in front of you, what you're hearing, what you're touching, what you are tasting.
And the reason that this simple action makes a huge difference is because it pulls us into the present moment, and temporarily offers us respite from everything else that is happening. It doesn't change the world around us in the sense that those things are going to continue to happen. But this, this ability to teach ourselves to be present, shifts everything because it truly just sort of pulls us into ourselves at that moment. And it allows us to co-exist in this moment of presence, even alongside every difficult thing that is happening. And once we start to do this and really take stock of what's in front of us as we allow ourselves to be present, we start to notice the beautiful things, the weird things, the funny things. But if we are not present, those ordinary or mundane situations and experiences and things, they just pass us by.
Katie Fogarty 11:19
Absolutely. Because we're, you know, we're so busy sometimes with our to-do list or, you know, overwhelmed with our sorrow, or caught up with the headlines, and it can feel hard to focus in on what's right in front of us and keep us connected to what makes us feel alive and human.
Cyndie Spiegel 11:40
And again, I don't think we, even in our normal day to day lives, we don't always take stock of that. We're just too busy moving and going and moving and going. And this is why, you know, when I talk about microjoys, it really is a mindset because at this point, my brain is trained to spot a microjoy anywhere, to seek microjoys everywhere. You know, truly the ability to slow down even for 30 seconds, allows our brain to recalibrate, and allows us to see the world through a different lens, a lens that really allows for us to see things that we otherwise would miss.
Katie Fogarty 12:19
Cyndie, we're going to be heading into a quick break but when we come back, I want to explore with you the idea of how we make this practice sort of habitual, because oftentimes, we can maybe see and observe a microjoy, but we haven't trained ourselves to make it a part of our day to day.
Cyndie Spiegel 12:35
You got it.
Katie Fogarty 12:37
[AD Break]
We're back from the break. You gave us some ideas about using our five senses to observe our world more closely to see these microjoys as they unfold in front of us, because if you're looking you can find things, but I'm wondering about how to make this sort of habitual. And I wanted to share just sort of a quick personal story. My, I had one of my three children, went through a terrible accident several months ago, had a surgery, recuperated, and during that time, which was so intensely overwhelming, I felt like microjoys were available to me. Because every time I went to yoga and I could bend over I felt so profoundly grateful because I was watching somebody I love not being able to move. And I felt that very intensely. But you know as the recovery has gone on and the healing has happened, you know, I feel like I'm kind of back in my busyness and sometimes I'm, you know, when life is narrowed to the head of a pin, I think we can really feel grateful for things that are going right, or the beauty in our world. But when we're back on our busyness, sometimes it starts to escape, you know? Do you feel that you've cemented this microjoy practice in your own life? And how do we allow ourselves to make this more of our day-to-day?
Cyndie Spiegel 15:21
Yeah, so to answer the first question, has it been cemented? Yeah, there's, there's no getting rid of microjoys for me at this point. They are there and they are, you know, I use the word ritualized as opposed to habitual, because a habit often sounds like it's the same thing day in and day out and we're reinforcing this thing, whatever that is. These microjoys to me are more about the ritual of opening our eyes to see the world through a different lens. And there are many ways, you know, in the book, there are 45 essays and at the end of each essay, there's a 'Consider This' section. Every single 'Consider This' section is a different way of allowing yourself to see microjoys. You as the reader or the listener will come up with a million other ways to seek out microjoys.
But some of the examples that I talk about in the book, and again, you know, when we're talking about ritual or habit, it's a, it's a consistent, you know, it's consistently being on the lookout for them. One of the things I talk about in the book that I love so much was choosing an ordinary place that we visit often and be present for every detail of the experience, right? It's that present moment that I talked about a few moments ago, maybe sitting in your home, but there's an essay in the book called 'The Spice Shop,' where I go into a shop that I've been to, you know, hundreds of times before, and really allowed myself to be present for it. Two years later, two and a half years later, I can still recall that experience in detail because of how present I was. Something else I talk about in the book is embracing spontaneity. And in this particular instance, in the book, it was a last minute trip to India. But it doesn't have to be that, right, you don't have to get on a plane and fly 20 hours across the world to allow yourself to be spontaneous. It might look like your child saying, let's go for a walk or, you know, going for ice cream, whatever it is, and, you know, our day to day is often like no, I can't, I can't, I'm too busy. Instead of being too busy, allow yourself the time to do those things when you are able to. So that really giving yourself the space to do that and the permission to do that, which is maybe more important.
Katie Fogarty 17:34
Right, this notion of giving yourself permission is something that I think is so, it's so key. It's been a theme of the show, women come on and talk about giving themselves permission to do the things that they need to for their careers, to light themselves up, to find more joy in their lives. And, and I think this notion of sort of stepping off our busy treadmill allows us to, to give ourselves permission, to do exactly what you just identified. To really be more present in our lives and not be rushing. This may be a good segue into something that I flagged as a quote, you wrote down, "that evolving is a very strange thing." You know, "simultaneously we're pushed, and we're pulled, we're dragged in so many directions, that it pulls us apart at the seams, it's awful, and feels that in the moment, sometimes coming undone really is the only way to pick up what remains and shift ourselves forward." And I thought that was so beautiful. I flagged it, I wrote it down. I know that you were specifically talking about loss and death but it struck me that this language around evolving really applies to midlife as well. So much of what you shared in the book, I saw as themes that have emerged on the show, right? Women are dealing with changing bodies, our relationships evolve, as our kids grow, or perhaps marriages end or marriages are reconsidered; our lives keep morphing. And I'm just curious what role, if any, did being in midlife yourself play in how you were able to identify and experience microjoys?
Cyndie Spiegel 19:10
I think without question, you know, being, I'm 45, there's something to be said I think about losing a parent, you know, as an adult, as a grown person, that makes you, it's sort of, there's this deep understanding that you are alone in the world as an adult, or it feels that way. There's no question in my mind that everything, my physic-, and I didn't talk about this in the book, but things that my physical body, were going through as I was writing this book, in many ways, because again, grief in one hand joy in the other, allowed me, and really it sort of prompted me to want to step away from my changing body, my changing self, in moments that I could. You know? These moments of respite. I talk in the book about having to get rid of all of my clothes and, and get new clothing, there's so much about evolving in this book in different ways. And I think without question, so much of it is tied to the period of life that I'm in. Because it becomes just more transparent to us.
Katie Fogarty 19:12
What do you mean, when you say transparent? That's such an interesting word. What's -
Cyndie Spiegel 20:21
Yeah.
Katie Fogarty 20:22
Is it clarifying, you mean, about what's important? What do you mean by transparent?
Cyndie Spiegel 20:25
Yeah, clarifying. Clarifying is what I would say. But also, you're seeing this very physical change happening to you outwardly. So you feel it inside, but at this point in your life, you're also physically seeing it. So there's this sort of, and that's what I mean by transparency, right? It's like there's a very physical change that up until that point, I pretty much looked the same my whole life. And watching my physical body evolve, granted me, I think, access into understanding that what I was feeling on the inside was in fact real. It was sort of a looking on the outside the way I felt on the inside, if that makes any sense.
Katie Fogarty 21:10
No, it totally makes sense. You're sort of in alignment with your internal self, you know. You've just jogged a memory. I'm 53 right now. And I remember I was probably in my early 40s. At one point, I'm like, Oh my God, my face is melting, you know, and I was, like, a little sad about it, if I'm being totally honest. And now I'm like, I don't really care. It's like, melted further. And that's all, that's all good. It's just, I think, you know, everyone gets--this show is called A Certain Age--not because we're being coy about our age, but because there is no one magical time where people feel like they're ready to kind of own who they are and, you know, just live their lives on their own terms. And I really feel that happens for women at different stages. You know, it could be, people go into menopause at different times. And so there are these different catalysts that allow you to become more fully yourself and it happens across a variety of ages. But it happens, you know, when you're in this sort of 35, 45, 50, 55, 65 age frame. And we get to a point where we feel so much more fully ourselves. And that is another great theme of the show and that's why I also flagged another quote from your book, which said, quote, "who I am has never been quite enough for me, I've assigned myself this seemingly endless task of attempting to constantly become a better version of myself, a better version of who I was even moments before." And this jumped off the page at me, you know, because I am a recovering Type-A perfectionist. I felt very seen when I read that. You know, we sometimes in the hustle culture of, you know, New York or big-city-living or just America, you know, people are constantly trying to improve themselves. And I'm sure a lot of listeners can relate to this. And I'm curious, you know, my experience that I shared with one of my children, which felt, and was, so traumatizing, was not the same level of loss that you experienced. But it did change a little bit about how I just sort of move forward with my life. And did the process of living through loss, of practicing these microjoys, you know, has it helped change, for you, the desire to constantly change yourself?
Cyndie Spiegel 23:40
Yes and no. You know, the first thing I'll say is, you mentioned that what you went through wasn't the same as what I went through, you know, I want us to be mindful of comparing grief, and folks way of experiencing grief, right? Because what I've come to know is that compound grief, by the way, isn't this foreign thing. Many, many people go through it and it doesn't matter, like there is no comparison of one person's grief to another and many people are going to hear what I went through and say, "Oh, my gosh, I can't believe you live through that." And there are going to be other folks who hear it and say, "Oh, well, if you think that's bad, this is what I went through." And so I always want to be mindful of comparing our grief and understanding or not understanding what other people went through. I think we're all just trying to move through life the best we can and terrible things happen to good people. With that said, do I think that going through this experience has made me sort of want to stop making myself better? And I only use those terms because there's a quote in the book about that.
Yes and no. I think there's a certain foundation of calm that I didn't have before and of being okay that I didn't have before, but it doesn't mean that I don't strive to be excellent and strive to do cool things, and, but there is definitely a foundation of acceptance that I did not have before all of this. So there's this feeling almost of this is where I am, and I can't change this, and there's this amazing thing that I want to do with my life. But it's not because there's anything wrong with me currently, it's simply because this is another experience I want to have. Where prior to this, there was almost a feeling of lack, lacking something, so needing that to fill it. And I no longer feel that. I feel like where I am is enough. And I think going through, I think even coming out of the pandemic, honestly, even if you didn't lose anyone personally during the pandemic, the collective grieving that we are, as a society, going through has really allowed many of us to understand what is most important, and I think that that's very similar to what I went through. There's a real understanding of what matters and what doesn't, right, and where I am is enough where you are is enough, that doesn't mean we don't want to do cool and interesting things in addition.
Katie Fogarty 26:09
Yeah, I love that, I love that distinction, that you have this sort of underlying foundation of calm that you've been able to access by moving through hard things. And for all of our listeners, we've all experienced the cultural trauma of the of the pandemic, but that we can still want to create and evolve and, and build and grow in new ways. Because that's sort of what, that's the magic, you know, to not feel a sense of lack, but want to have a sense of sort of positive evolution, I guess. I love that distinction. Thank you for sharing that.
Can we switch gears for a minute? I've been following you on social media for a long time, I actually learned about your work, I think, through "The Year of Positive Thinking." I own that book, I've read it, it's also a great touchstone as well for for people who, you know, might want just sort of a different way of thinking about joy in their lives. And it's a little different. It's not essays, it's more like sort of daily prompts. And it's just a wonderful bedside book as well or keep it on your desk when you need a little interjection of joy. But one of the themes that you say in "The Year of Positive Thinking," a theme you repeat, again and again, on both your personal social media and on Dear Grown Ass Women, is this notion of, "I am not for everyone, and you shouldn't be either." And I think this is such a fabulous, such a fabulous idea; you articulated so, so well, that that, you know, we need to fully be ourselves and and not be a people pleaser. And is this something that you has your attitude or approach to this share change at all, in writing this new book? Is this something that is still sort of a personal mantra? What is your hope...
Cyndie Spiegel 28:04
That will always be a personal mantra. There's a t shirt that we have in Dear Grown Ass Women that every day somebody buys, and it just says, "I am not for everyone," repeated on the front of the shirt. The thing is, is that something that I really feel like I learned from my mom growing up, you know, she always I didn't dress like everybody else. I didn't look like everyone else. And she always was so proud of that, you know, and she reminded me she's like, don't ever change don't ever change, allow yourself to be who you are, like, everyone's not going to like usin. So don't chase that. So I grew up sort of hearing this over and over again that it was okay to be different. It was okay to stand out. It was okay for people not to like you, you know, and it wasn't because my my mother ever wanted me to consciously go out in the world and say, I don't care if you hate me, it wasn't that energy, you know, it was very much the sense of you are an individual and what you stand for and who you are, is not going to align with everybody else in the world.
ou know, now for a little bit of my background, I am a biracial, black, Jewish woman. And I think so much of hearing that over and over again, growing up was my mom also saying, you know, people aren't always going to understand you, they're not always going to understand what you look like, you may look very different than other people in the room. This is who you are, you are all parts of your mom and your dad he Annette like, and again, this was something I heard from a very young age on a physical level, which is I'm not going to look like a lot of other people and that's okay. And whether people like that or not, like it's not for me to worry about. And I think,
Katie Fogarty 29:44
Yeah, keep going..
I'm sorry, I was jumping. I was just gonna say you're so lucky to have had parents that share that message with you and allowed you to absorb it on a cellular level at a young age because it takes a lot of women.... and you may or may not be experienced this in your Dear Grown Ass Women community. I'd be curious. I know from having women on the show, from conversations..I have a an Instagram platform called @letsageoutloud where people, women opt in to share their stories about aging. And I ask in that interview, "What is something you've let go of?" And, you know, if there are 50 interviews, 25-30 of them have said, "I've let go of people pleasing." Because that for a lot of women that is sort of baked into the system.
Cyndie Spiegel 30:29
Nice. Yeah, I've really come to learn that. And truthfully, I wouldn't, I don't know that I was always so aware that this wasn't the norm. Until much later, I would say maybe even my, I don't, I can't even put an age around it, honestly. But I just, whenever anyone would ask me about that private, you know, this, this idea of like, I'm not for everyone. And the question always comes up, like how, you know, "How did you get that way?" But how, like, how did you get to accept that, and I think after getting, but how, but how but how for a long time, that's really when it started, it became clear for me that this wasn't normal for everyone. I did not know, like having grown up with a mother who taught me this from such a young age, it never occurred to me that I should try to please everyone else. And by the way, my mom was a pill, you know, I talked about her in the book. Shelley had an opinion, and she shared her opinion, whether you wanted it or not. And I think even bearing witness to my mom's way of taking up space in the world in some ways. You know, it was this constant sort of reminder that like local people aren't always gonna like you. And that's okay. It's not a it's not a personal attack on me if somebody doesn't like me...
Katie Fogarty 31:50
Right, it's, that's I love that. Yeah, the idea of taking up space and and sort of seeing your mom just, you know, be fully herself and having that be model but also having her say it, because, you know, we we see but we also hear and we need to be told these messages. And it sounds like I need to get that t-shirt for myself. And I would urge all of our listeners to click clack over to Dear Grown Ass Women and check out the merch. Because we need t rep, what we what we stand for. And if we're not for everyone, you know, we're for ourselves. And that I think that is one of the for me at least has been one of the amazing things and I learned, when I was 20 or 30 I would never have thought that I was for everyone, and I wouldn't I wouldn't have necessarily thought of myself as a people pleaser, but I really feel that getting to.... I'm on the other side now, at the age of 53 and I look back and I'm like there were times when you were making yourself smaller, more agreeable, or not wanting to rock the boat. And I feel like I am done with that. And I'm thrilled. And I think listeners to the show are sort of done with that, or are there at least like getting there.
This book and all the content you share on your social media, I think is something that is a microjoy. Cyndie's content is a microjoy that's right in front of you. it's accessible, it's available. Microjoys are hearing from other women that are sharing their truth and sharing themselves so generously with the world. That is a microjoy. I so love this book. We are nearing the end of our time. So we're gonna head into a quick speed round because we want to share a little bit more of you if you're willing. This is just one- to two-word answers. We try to end on a high-energy note and get people excited as we wrap the show. So this is a one to two word answers.
Writing "Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life is Not Okay" was______.
Cyndie Spiegel 33:57
Healing and helpful.
Katie Fogarty 33:59
Nice. Is publishing a book a micr joy or a macrojoy?
Cyndie Spiegel 34:03
A microjoy.
Katie Fogarty 34:06
Time Magazine called Microjoy a must-read for February What was your first reaction to this news?
Cyndie Spiegel 34:12
Of course it is.
Katie Fogarty 34:16
Yes, I love it. Oh my gosh, perfect. I know that that everyone else's micr joys are going to be different, but what is the recurring micro joy for you that you can usually count on to lift your spirits?
Cyndie Spiegel 34:32
My kitten
Katie Fogarty 34:33
Love it.
Have you experienced a new or relatively surprising microjoy?
Cyndie Spiegel 34:40
Yes.
Katie Fogarty 34:41
And what would that be?
Cyndie Spiegel 34:43
A new toenail polish color.
Katie Fogarty 34:44
Hello, love it. I get that too. I so rarely get manicures that when I look at my fingers and they're polished that is definitely a micro joy. Grief may lose its potency but it never goes away. It is there a prompt from the book, a particular microjoy or even simply something that you do is a lifestyle choice that centers you when you're feeling these waves of deep grief?
Cyndie Spiegel 35:11
I remind myself often that this too shall pass.
Katie Fogarty 35:15
Nice perfect. What do you want a reader to feel or experience where they are done with this book?
Cyndie Spiegel 35:21
Hopeful.
Katie Fogarty 35:24
Finally your one-word answer to complete this sentence. As I age I feel_____.
Cyndie Spiegel 35:31
Glorious.
Katie Fogarty 35:32
Nice. That is such a beautiful word and a beautiful note to end on. Thank you Cyndie. This has been such a treat. I love your writing. I love following you on social media and spending time with you. I was gonna say in real life but we're you know we're on we're on microphones. This is like... spending time with you on Zoom life has been an absolute treat. Before we say goodbye, how can our listeners keep following you? You know learn more about Dear Grown Ass Women and find your books?
Cyndie Spiegel 35:59
They can come on my website cyndiespiegel.com. They can also find me on Instagram at @cyndiespiegel. Just Google "Cyndie Spiegel" and I'll come up.
Katie Fogarty 36:08
Perfect. Do buy "Microjoys." And not only buy "Microjoys," write a review because reviews really matter. I know this from having other authors on the show. I interviewed 21 authors last year; it really makes a difference. So make this book part of your life. Get on Amazon. Get on bookshop.org and share why it's made a difference for you.
Cyndie Spiegel 36:29
Yes, yes. Yes. Thank you so much.
Katie Fogarty 36:32
This wraps A Certain Age, a show for women who are aging without apology. Thank you for tuning in and being a friend of the show. And before we say goodbye, a quick favor. Speaking of reviews, I would love a written review over an Apple Podcasts. Yes the star ratings, help but written reviews are truly killer. You can share what you learned, why you tune-in, mention a favorite guest, or let us know if A Certain Age makes you feel happiewr, or smarter, or more inspired. Special thanks to Michael Mancini who composed and produced our theme music. See you next time, and until then Age Boldly Beauties.